Sharing care of children at Christmas and special occasions

By Sarah Wood-Heath

How to make it your decision if you are a separated parent: a shared Christmas, birthday or special occasion.

Christmas and birthdays are such special times of year - full of excitement, with children enjoying the magic of the day.  For separated parents, however these occasions can be difficult.  The arrangements for sharing Christmas and birthday celebrations between parents can be a source of tension and upset, especially with the expectations of wider family members also wishing to share the special day.

As for resolving any arrangements for the children, if parents are able to agree the arrangements for Christmas or birthdays, this is by far the best way.  Asking the Court to make this decision is a last resort and it will be a decision which is out of parents’ control.

Tips for working together to achieve a smooth shared Christmas, birthday or other special occasion:

• Listen to one another and take into account each other’s plans
• Discuss and agree the arrangements early and not at the last minute
• Consider mediation or another third party to help resolve any difficulties
• Accept that there will be times when the children will be with the other parent
• Plan and look forward to the time the children are with you and make it extra special
• Consider alternate year arrangements to make it fair for all i.e. one year one parent has Christmas eve and morning, and this alternates the following year and then alternate for the birthday

The best arrangement will vary for each family, however working together will hopefully achieve happy celebrations for all.

For help with any of your family arrangements please contact Sarah Wood-Heath or any of our Family Team on 01722 410664 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

By Sarah Wood-Heath